I heard the best analogy for language learning while in my German course in Hamburg. That a new language is like a vast body of water and you want to know how to breath underneath the surface. Most people stay by the water’s edge, too overwhelmed by the magnitude to risk it. Other’s dip their toes in or wade to knees but never go further. Our teacher told us that we had effectively cannon balled and now we were fully submersed whether we liked it or not. We could reject the water and try to get back to the surface and air. Or we could swim deeper and eventually you would be able to breathe again. She said that it was up to us, but that we were going to come up to the surface eventually, and most likely never fully submerge again, so our choice was very important. All of this is giving Avatar way of water but whatever.
It’s so interesting, I’ve always wanted to speak another language. I’d say it and think it in the sort of non-committal way that you hear all the time, “I’d gonna learn Spanish one day” or “I wish I knew French.” Most of the time that thinking gets us to dip our toes but then go back to shore. I’m realizing now that the only way to get me to do something is if I back myself into a corner so when I’m to quit it’s not an option. Like now, that “one day” that I’m gonna learn German is today, because it’s every day. It’s pretty much sink or swim, either I ask my host dad for, “the napkin for the women blood” or I go without a pad.
I feel like there’s this great wall I have get over. On the other side of this wall I can joke and converse and understand, ei. basic fluency. I thought that maybe I can’t do any of that now, but one day I’ll have a conversation about an article in the paper where I don’t have to use google translate and I’ll realize I jumped over the wall. I have achieved fluency.
I see now that that isn’t going to happen. That instead of bringing all of my training into mind and doing a cool parkour move over, I’m building a bridge. It’s so slow I don’t realize I’m making progress, and it’s so hard I want to give up every time I start to build again. It’s not just big rocks either it’s a ton of tiny pebbles that I’m painstakingly filling cracks with. I know that every little bit helps but it’s hard to appreciate how far I’ve come, when I’m still not over the wall yet.
If I focus really hard I can understand what people are saying, or at least get a general gist. And I find that most sentences I think of in English I can translate to German, maybe not correctly but you’ll get what I’m saying. I can get through a basic conversation pretty easily, but more complicated topics with lots of pronouns and verbs are still very difficult. I feel like I’m at the point where I’m starting to see over the wall. I’m not there yet but it’s close, tantalizingly and frustratingly close. Also, it’s not impossible to be funny anymore. An opportunity where I can think of something funny and then translate it fast enough to be within the acceptable window of humor doesn’t arise that much, but it’s not never. Yesterday I used the wrong paper to get my lunch. Hannah started to clown on me and I responded, “Bro, bin ich ein Auslander ok. Ich kann nicht,” which means “Bro, I’m a foreigner ok, I can’t” and everyone at the table laughed 😱! It’s moments like that that remind me I am getting better, so I’m just gonna keep swimming until it gets easier.
Also, tomorrow I’m participating in a district wide floor ball tournament with my friends. Some people would let the fact that they’ve never played floor ball before keep them from joining a competition. I am not some people, so wish me luck!
BEA'S YEAR ABROAD 