BEA'S YEAR ABROAD

“What’s going on with Frau Bock this morning?”

“Oh, she ate a clown for breakfast.”

My new favorite German phrase; “ate a clown”. Used if you’re acting goofy or going out of your way to get a laugh out of the crowd. Also used as a sarcastic dig, like someone thinks they’re so funny today; someone ate a clown for breakfast. It’s how my friends explained to me why Frau Bock decided read my German paragraph aloud to the class.

In German class it’s necessary to find some means of employment. Most days I try to be productive, whether that be listening and writing down words I don’t know, or reading the dictionary (riveting I know). But most of the time participation is not an option. I don’t have the proficiency to explain why my brother lives in Colorado, but will go to college in Maryland come next fall, never mind discussing the merits of Goethe’s poetry. So when opportunities arise for me to do something with the class I usually take it. Which is how I ended up taking a test about argumentative structure along with everyone else. Except after about 10 minutes of struggling I decided to try something else. I ended up writing a paragraph complaining about the German language. I’m struggling to talk about how angry or sad I am because I lack the vocabulary. Saying “I feel bad” only goes so far when you feel frustrated and lonely. I wanted to practice and German was currently the thing frustrating me. In hindsight, maybe not the best thing to hand in to your German teacher. But I thought maybe it would give her a little chuckle as she quietly graded the tests in her own home. I never thought that the first thing she would do the next day would be to stand up in front of the class and say, “Bea wrote something funny and also you guys should hear about how she’s feeling because she’s struggling to express herself”.

This teacher reminds me of Mr. McFeaters (my former chorus teacher) in the way she picks a different student every class to single out. Yesterday, it was a boy named Fritz who couldn’t understand intervals. This time, it was me.

She didn’t just start to read it, first she asked the class if they would like to hear it. After an outstanding yes, she asked me if I was okay with them hearing it. I felt very on the spot and wanting to give everyone what they want, I said sure.

I was so mortified and embarrassed by my terrible grammar. I hate sounding stupid and in many ways I know I was the butt of the joke. Deep down, I know everyone knows that I’m not actually dumb it’s just a different language but still. I wasn’t expecting everyone to hear it so in it I complained about how all the words blend together when they speak fast. At which point the teacher started to say everything slowly and told everyone to do the same. Midway through the paragraph I was so flustered I knocked over my metal water bottle and spilled water everywhere. Noticing this, Frau Bock started to go easier on me and told everyone a story about another exchange she knew who even after 3 years couldn’t speak German as well as me. The rest of the paragraph was read and of course to all the native speakers in the room it was very funny, I just hope they associate those good emotions with me.

It’s not like I’m traumatized or I’ll never participate in German class ever again. I’d like to think having an older brother, years of summer camp, and Mr. McFeaters has thickened my skin enough to laugh it off and bounce back. I also think my classmates appreciate my efforts and my willingness to put myself out there. After class I was able to laugh with my friends about how I was today’s victim and I heard all their similar stories. I don’t hate Frau Bock, (she’s actually one of my favorite teachers) because she brings an energy to class and tries to make it fun. It’s also interesting because she doesn’t stand out. So many of my teachers blatantly tease and call out students, and for the most part everyone laughs it off. If I had guess I’d say there’s more of a ribbing and sarcastic culture between most teachers and students. (This story has nothing on my bio teacher who told a kid that he must have been dropped on his head when he was a baby because he’s so stupid; he also stuck up the middle finger in class one time).

Even in the moment it wasn’t like I wanted the Earth to swallow me whole, of course I exaggerate the story because that makes it better, but in reality I was just a little taken aback and embarrassed to have all the attention on me. I knew even in the moment that I shouldn’t feel stupid for saying something wrong in a language I don’t speak. And afterward Frau Bock let me sleep in class and told me my German is actually very impressive:) At the end of the day, I’m glad that Frau Bock ate a clown this morning, because now I have a great story.

Here’s some pictures of Jübar and the surrounding countryside